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Against Rashism, Fashism, Fishing and Finking
Some of our associate (but completely independent, for the purpose of obtaining Lottery Grants) organisations:
Latest Fairy Stories...
Author: Lick Howls | Date: Yesterday
Searchlies looks into the dark secrets of British fascists' dietary arrangements and asks "Where do all those missing people really go?" Lick Howls discovers the truth* in our exclusive exposé, which will doubtless be acclaimed as another great milestone in the annals of publishing. This issue of Searchlies will be sought after by collectors for years to come >>
Author: Sick Jowls | Date: Today
Neo-Nazi Death Camp in Doncaster
Our intrepid investigative reporter Dick Gohen infiltrates the Bit Map Party in Doncaster and discovers the shocking truth* about fascist activity in the wilds of Yorkshire: the building of a sinister and brutal death camp for invading parasitic earthworms. Extensive details of this planned genocide are available (for a fee, please have your credit card ready) from our associate organisation, Searchlies Information Services >>
Author: Nick Owt | Date: Tomorrow
Exposed Worldwide Plot to Sink Africa
Have the American KKK found an enormous, secret bath-plug near the Equator which they plan to pull out and sink the whole continent? From his air-conditioned and very comfortable office in South East Dulwich, our fearless seeker for truth* Nick Owt sets forth for his writing desk to investigatively investigate >>
Author: Cherie Cable | Date: The Day After Tomorrow
Battle of Gable Street Remembered
The truth* is at last revealed about the Battle of Gable Street of 1936. This was a pivotal point in the history of Britain and led to the Second World War. In this issue we commemorate this important event and in a special feature Cherie Cable details the discovery of hitherto unknown documents in an Israeli antique dealer's shop which prove conclusively that six million brave anti-Mosleyites were exterminated after the Battle and their bodies boiled to make taxi fuel. >>
Author: Mabel Abel | Date: The Day After Yesterday
Evil Racist Fascist Nazis Are Evil Nazi Fascist Racists
Mabel, our resident shiksa, phones a friend who's on the internet and then takes a break from darning Jerry's pyjamas to dress up the report into a shocking exposé of the Nazis behind the psychotic "Searchloot" hate site. Mabel reveals this sick and twisted parody of our beautiful Searchlies website to be run by evil racist fascist terrorist Nazi hooligan suicide bombers who are even worser than the evil racist fascist Nazi BMP, if that's possible. >>
Searchlies Magazine, PO Box 666, Dante's Inferno. Tel: 0266 666 6667 (calls are charged at £10.00 per minute). Please email your libels, slanders and dirt to email@example.com.
Searchlies is a Barefaced Liars Production.
Stop the BMP was set up to keep us in funds and ensure our fraudulent claim to be a charity has some credibility.
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Your generosity is always welcome. You can help stop the activities of the Bit Map Party and their dreadful large images by making a donation. Please note however, since we now get hundreds of thousands of pounds from the National Lottery, we're not interested in piddling little sums like the odd tenner when you can afford it. Our staff will be most pleased to take your call, sympathize with your concerns about the threat the Bit Map Party poses to the British way of life and take your credit card details for a regular, generous standing order, in the strictest confidence of course. Thank you so much for helping our worthy cause.